He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
