i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
