i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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