Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
