You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
