im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
