I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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