Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't think brook has ever known best
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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