Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
