OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
