hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
