plz talk dirty to me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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