Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
