You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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