I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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