Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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