The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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