Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
don't judge my taste in strippers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
