Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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