dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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