There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
