Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
two words: eviction party
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
