So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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