O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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