and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
