Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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