You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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