And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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