Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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