i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
