i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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