That's when you crack a 10am beer
Welp...herpes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
