Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
