When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
