Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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