I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
