I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
