I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
