So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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