He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
