Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
