We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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