You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
