i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
