PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
