i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
whose parrot is this?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
