Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
