Don't you send me to vm
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
