shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
