all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
